Jun 11, 2010

And it is Best to Avoid the Glitter Variety

I walked through the aisle three times while casually browsing the body spray selections.  On the fourth time through, I knew what I needed and I knew right where it was.  After waiting out a shampoo shopper, I confirm all witnesses absent and quickly grabbed the goods.  I darted to the checkout, found a liberal looking clerk and in no time I was back in the safety of my 4x4 truck listening to rock 'n roll.

The downside is huge but the upside is huge-er.  Simply trade in a chunk of your manliness and receive a life free of buffalo gnats.  Buffalo gnats were first mentioned on Lunkerhunt on April 14th, 2007 and they showed up again in May of 2008.  The pesky buggers hatch around this time every year, buzz around your head for a few weeks and then disappear.  Prolonged exposure leads to tiny red bite marks.  I can say with certainty no amount of bug spray will work but cigar smoke works a little.  But a guy can't smoke constantly for an hours long outing.

Monday I met Randy and Monday Randy changed my life.  I hate buffalo gnats soooo much and was about to call it quits when I noticed him sitting comfortably still while I swatted the air violently; I had to know his secret.  I paddled on over and struck up a conversation, which I eventually steered toward gnats.  His solution: vanilla body spray.  Being on the brink of insanity I had nothing to lose and by God it worked...it really worked.

I will give you fair warning.  The Mrs. may balk on your next request for leave if you come home smelling of vanilla cupcakes.


  1. Great pick up, Clif. Who cares what they think as long as you can keep fishin' and not scratchin' or itchin'.

  2. I used to fish a spot where the gnats were terrible back in my home town of Bloomington MN. Can't say that gnats are a factor here in Central MN. Mosquito's and maybe horse fly's yes. Gnats No, thank God.

    Great trip for people who go to Canada.

  3. Now I read some mix vanilla extract with water and/or alcohol. That would have been simpler, but at least I now have the spray bottle for a mix when this runs out.

  4. Sweet!!! No, I really mean it. Sweet.

    Thanks for a great tip. And I love the image of sneaking about the personal body products counter, ready to make the unnoticed purchase. Made me chuckle.

  5. @mike, It may be too sweet. my spray is Vanilla Cupcake. And it's the cupcake part that has me nervous. Vanilla to keep the gnats down, but cupcake to bring in the ants and bees!

  6. Just don't fish like a cupcake...

  7. Hmmm... great tip. I wonder if it works for biting flies. Or mosquitos?


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